Well its official. We will not be having anymore kids. The tears are flowing as I sit here and type this but I figured that if I could write it down it would make me feel better.
We made the decision for Casey to have the procedure done a few months ago. He had decided that he did not want to have more children. I on the other had wanted just one more. I always wanted 2 kids and never really imagined not having them and I really didn't want Jet to be an only child. But, I respected his wishes and agreed that we would not have anymore. I'm not gonna lie, it was hard but if this is what he truly felt and wished, then there is no way I could live with myself if something happened and I got pregnant again knowing that he didn't want another child. I want him to be happy and if this is what it takes then so be it! I would do anything to make him happy, I love him with my entire heart! So, yesterday was the day. And let me tell you, it was one of the hardest days of my life! I tried to be strong but of course my emotions got the best of me. I couldn't think about it or talk about it or I would start crying. I tried not cry in front of him but I broke down on the way to the appointment. We talked the whole way there and he asked me if I was ok with him doing it. It was nice to know that he valued what I wanted. I told him that I was ok with it as long as he was absolutely sure that this is what he wanted. Of course, part of me was hoping that he would tell me to turn around and go home. He told me that he was sure, and away we went. We sat in the waiting room forever... I'm sure people were wondering what in the hell is wrong with this girl sitting here crying in a urologists office. lol I'm sure I looked wonderful. That was it, the deed was done.
To Casey,
Please do not think that I am angry with you. I am not at all I swear. It may take me a bit for the emotions to go away. You know me, I cry all the time and sometimes over nothing at all. Please do not be upset with me in the coming days if you find me crying, this is my way of moving forward. If people will stop bringing it up it would be easier bc then I wouldn't think about it. But I want you to know that I love you with all of my heart and there is nothing that will change that. you and Jet mean the world to me and I will do whatever it takes to make ya'll happy. Our family is complete!
Well I guess that is it for now. Sorry for my blubbering, I just think this was the best way for me to move on.
All my love...
-meg
2:48 p.m. - 2013-10-23
Recent entries:
Our family is complete... - 2013-10-23
past to present - 2013-10-20
*hmmmm - 2004-11-24
*sad* - 2004-09-19
5 - 2004-07-13
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